A Simple Apple Activity to Decrease Arguing and Increase Sibling Love

I am a big proponent of replacing bad habits with good. Therefore, while you’ll definitely hear me pleading, “Please stop arguing!” I am simultaneously trying to replace that arguing with kindness. That replacement includes such things as discussions (sometimes leaning toward lectures I admit 😉 ), stories of choosing kindness, meaningful time spent with individual kids (to help fill each child’s needs), and fun together-time as a family. We also strive to teach important principles through small lessons and activities. One simple activity we have done will help your children reach out in kindness to their siblings and leave each individual in the family feeling appreciated.

What Parents Can Do to Stop Sibling Arguing

Helping kids get along with their siblings can be challenging. It’s often easier for kids to be kinder to their “friends” than their siblings. However, these family relationships are also the most important in their lives. Families may move and friend groups can change, but siblings remain constant. A foundation of childhood spent together can become the basis for lifelong close relationships with siblings. We spend so much time in the home. It ought to be a place of safety for each of us. Harmonious family relationships are the root of a loving home life.

As my children grow, I am continually learning that I cannot control them nor make decisions for them. While I would love to simply insist that they “just get along!” (and I do try 😉 ), I am not in control of how they respond to one another. However, I can set an example of patient kindness and respond appropriately when they make both good and poor decisions.

I can also do all within my power to teach them why and how to love each other.

One Root of Arguing

I have noticed that one reason my children argue with each other is that they are focusing on the negative about one another.

It usually sounds something like, “He is SOOOO annoying!” said with rolling eyes and a tone of exasperation.

So one way we try to combat that root is to replace the negative thoughts with appreciation.

I try to take advantage of teaching moments throughout each day. These often arise after sibling conflict and the subsequent time-out. Therefore, sometimes in order to get out of timeout, I require the arguing siblings to each say three kind things about the other.

However, I have also learned, that some of the most important teaching happens before the need arises. Just like brushing your teeth, this teaching is preventative in nature. Usually kids listen better when they are not in the midst of arguing or feeling angry. I strive to create moments of learning to love. One such moment centered around apples.

The Apple Activity

Gather apples of various sizes or colors. As a family, discuss how those apples are similar and different from each other. Next, ask, “Which is more important, what is on the outside of the apple or the inside?”

Discuss how a small bruise on the outside of an apple really doesn’t make a difference, but a worm on the inside does.

Tell your children that they are each like one of these apples. On the outside, we have some similarities and differences, but on the inside, we each have something special.

Cut an apple in half perpendicular to the core (not cutting through the ends but through the middle instead).

Inside each apple is a star, and inside each child is a star.

Discuss what kinds of things determine our “inside” such as choices, talents, and personality.

Each Child is a Star

Have each child and parent write his or her name on the top of their own piece of paper. Help younger Littles write their name or draw a picture of himself or herself. Next, pass each paper to the person on the right. Each person writes one thing they love or appreciate about the “inside” of the family member whose paper they now hold. What makes that person a star on the inside? If your kids are a bit older or especially negative in general, you can expand their thinking by having them write three or five positive attributes.

Pass papers around until everyone has written about each family member.

Allow a minute for everyone to read the positive characteristics written by the family members.

Close by expressing your own gratitude for each family member and that these lists are only a small part of what makes each child a star on the inside.

Other Fun Ideas

Here are a few fun ideas if you want to expand the activity.

• Use the cut apples as paint stamps. Fold the papers in half from the beginning. Use the top half for writing and the bottom half for apple-paint creations. If you want to make the star shape more pronounced in your paintings, use a knife to cut a bigger star shape into the apple or draw a star after stamping. While most children will cherish the writing alone, it’s also fun to turn the paper into a piece of art to hang in the bedrooms. Here are my favorite washable paints and No-Spill Paint Cups.
• Make apple and peanut butter sandwiches. Continue to slice the apple into circles. Cut the middle out of each circle leaving a ring without core. Spread peanut butter on the apple rings. My kids love this snack! There’s something about eating an apple in a different shape that takes it up a notch in their books. 😉
• Read and discuss 1 Samuel 16:7, which talks about how the Lord cares not about what is on the outside but what is on the inside. How can we learn to care more about what is on the inside of others rather than the outside? How can we work to make our own insides better? You could even tell or act out the story of Samuel and David.

What have you done to help your children appreciate their siblings more? Please share in the comments.